>Recently, Mary DeMuth wrote titled “The Elephants in the Publishing Business“. While it is dealing primarily with the Christian publishing world, it holds truth for anyone, Christian or not. Especially if you are married.
Its in regards to the relationship between the opposite sex – men & women. I know that not everyone is going to agree with me, and that’s ok. I’m blogging about this because what Mary said hit home. I’ve been there, done that and know how much it can hurt a marriage if it’s not taken seriously.
The relationship between a man and a woman is very tricky. Especially when you are married. I’m not saying it’s impossible, just that you walk a very fine line and you have to be careful. You need boundaries. If you don’t have the boundaries, then you won’t know when you’ve crossed the line that can destroy your marriage and your friendship. Always be upfront about your marriage to your ‘friend’. Don’t speak badly about your spouse, praise him/her, talk about them often. Don’t hide your marriage or use it as an excuse. Also, tell your spouse about your friendship! Don’t sacrifice that trust that you’ve built because you weren’t honest.
If you correspond in emails – be very careful. It’s easy to become lost with emails – its simple to pour your heart out, to compliment, to be ‘honest’ and take it seriously. If you find that you start to hide your emails from your spouse, then that tends to be a good indication you need to be honest with your spouse and tell them. I’d also suggest that you pull away and stop the emails from happening.
Facebook and Twitter are such amazing tools. Personally I’m addicted, as I’m sure most of you are as well. But there’s a downfall with these sites. It’s easy to lose yourself in them, to get caught up in the past with old friends and old relationships. There’s nothing wrong with remembering the past – just don’t try to live in it. Be very careful!
I think the most important piece of information Mary shared was to keep the ‘home fires burning’. If you are satisfied at home, happy with who you are and the life you have, there’s no reason why you would think about looking elsewhere for that happiness. You’ve made a commitment to your spouse – honor it, cherish it and hold it close to your heart – so tightly that you can’t let go. There’s nothing more important in your life.
Again, I’m not saying there’s nothing wrong with having a friendship with the opposite sex, I’m just saying be careful.