>It’s such a simple phrase, yet its also so complicated. Trust in God.
How do you trust in God? How do you ‘let go and let God’ as the saying goes? Where is that fine line of trusting in God to work on your behalf and you making things happen? What happens when you do trust in God and it doesn’t work? What then?
Those are all thoughts going through my head today. This has been my biggest struggle in the last 3 years. Three years ago we decided to step down from ministry. It was the best choice for us to make as a couple and for me personally. But it was also three years ago that I stopped trusting in God. I didn’t stop believing in Him, I just stopped trusting Him to take care of us, to shelter me, to protect me, to watch over me and make sure I was ok.
Why? Because for 10 years all I did was ‘trust God’ and all that came about from that trust was hurt and disillusionment.
Not really much of an excuse, but it is what it is.
Today at church, I know Holy Spirit was speaking to me, telling me it was time to let go of this trust issue, to stop allowing the hurt in my heart to continue to beat me down. That it’s time to trust God once again. Didn’t want to hear it though. Then an old friend that I have not spoken to in a long time looks at me and basically tells me the same thing, that it’s time to stop running, time to let go and to grab a hold onto God. She said more, but that was the gist of it.
I’m still having a hard time with it. A huge part of me wants to say “OK!” but then there is that part of me that says … ‘remember what happened last time …”.
What does it mean to trust God? I know what the scripture says, but really, in plain simple terms, what does it mean? Does it mean opening myself up to becoming hurt again? Does it mean not holding on as tightly? I don’t know anymore.