>And we have a winner!

This was the first major contest I’ve held here. I was a bit nervous, not sure of the feedback or if it would fly at all – but let me tell you – I was blown away by the entries and by the judges πŸ™‚  The ladies who commented on the entries know what they are doing and they do it well!

Way to go everyone! You all did fantastic jobs – I loved reading all the hooks.

Our judges from Seekerville were fantastic – not only did they read all your hooks but they commented on them too! WOW! I’ve sent everyone their comments – if you haven’t received them (after checking your junk folder) please email me!

I’ve asked our winner if I could show everyone her hook and their comments. Once I have the ‘yes or no’ I’ll be sure to let everyone know who won πŸ˜‰

And to give you an idea on what their comments look like, here’s my entry (and no, I didn’t enter to win πŸ˜‰


If there was one thing Nathan knew best, it was that he could make
stupid mistakes.
Losing himself in an area he was unfamiliar with was one thing, but
driving into a maze of emptied warehouses and entering a darkened
alley with no exit, well that was quite the other.
Sentence one. Okay, I am intrigued with his self depracation and amused. Sentence two is sort of anticlimactic.
Knowing this is suspense, I’m already rooting for Nathan…and worried! See if it’s possible to eliminate some passive “was” words to bring more immediacy to the opening.
Love the opening line!  Tells you a bit about his inner character and the raises questions as to what mistake has he made now?
So there we go πŸ™‚ I guess I have work to do!  When I sent entries in – I posted your first paragraph and they responded in different colors πŸ™‚  

Is this fantastic? I don’t know about you, but having a separate set of eyes look at my opening and show me where I could make it better is exactly what I need!
A HUGE thank you to the gals at Seekerville!  THANK YOU!!