How are your logline shaping up?
I thought I would post mine – the one that I placed in MSFV logline critique and the one I ended up with. I also thought I’d use the two fantastic pieces of advice from Holly Bodger and our fantastic contest judge – Michelle McLean and break down the logline I have.
I had to decide on what aspect of the novel I wanted to focus on. Was it going to be Megan trying to find Emma? Was I going to focus on the marriage that unravels while Megan is so focused on finding her daughter? What about her other children – do I mention them? And Emma – she has her own story in my novel, do I bring that in at all? I finally realized that I needed to focus on what the main element to my story is – I only have 2 sentences after all!
When [MAIN CHARACTER] [INCITING INCIDENT], he [CONFLICT].
And if he doesn’t [GOAL] he will [CONSEQUENCES].
So here’s my original:
All Megan wants is for her three-year old daughter to be found after
disappearing from the front yard two years ago.
She sees Emma everywhere and her family questions her sanity,
but when she snaps a photo of a little girl at the town fair,
Megan doesn’t understand why people won’t believe
that she’s finally found her daughter.
Now, it’s not bad – but it’s not great either. What are the stakes? I have some tense issues too. So I used Michelle’s breakdown.
Author Michelle McLean breaks it down as well:
- Characters – Who is the main character? What does that main character want? What is his/her main goal? (Megan wants to find Emma)
- Conflict – Who is the villain of the story? Or what is the main obstacle to the main character obtaining their goal? (No one believes her when she says she does find her)
- Distinction – What makes your book different then all the rest? What is the unique element of your story that makes it stand out? Is your book a romance between a young man and woman? What makes them different? (Megan and everyone else begins to question Megan’s sanity – is she losing her mind? Is she seeing Emma? The marriage is falling apart.)
- Setting – for a novel, adding a little about the setting, time period, and possibly genre (if it’s not obvious) is a good idea. For example, the hook line for my book, which is an historical romantic suspense, could begin “A young woman in Victorian England…”. (The carnival is the main focal point for Megan finding Emma.)
- Action – Your hook line needs to have action, excitement. For example, which hook line catches your interest more? (Do what no one else will and find her daughter.)
Here’s what I came up with. What do you think? As the first official entry (but not considered for the winning prize) I’d like you to critique my new logline – help me make it better 😉
Do you care for Megan? Is there a hook?
Does it make you want to read Emma’s Heaven?
When Megan snaps a photo at the local town fair,
her husband refuses to believe it’s their missing daughter;
after all, Megan’s claimed to have seen Emma countless times
since her disappearance two years ago.
Armed only with motherly instinct, Megan
takes it upon herself to find her daughter and bring her home.
Don’t forget to sign up for the blogfest –
Michelle is offering a 5-10 pg critique to the winning logline!
Starts November 1st!